I sat down and placed my backpack on the seat next to me. It may as well have been another person, god knows it weighed enough. I turned to look over my seat at the person behind me. She sat there, texting away on her phone. Not before finishing her message, and without lifting her head, she looked up at me. It was then I knew I had interrupted.
"Would I be okay if I put my seat back a little?" I asked.
She said it was fine, and so I slowly adjusted it, taking caution as to not squish her knees. I got comfortable and whipped out my ipod. Perhaps some Elton.. No, maybe not. I tend to choose my music according to the weather, which in return, adjusts my mood. Elton John, Supertramp, The Beatles and Billy Joel are for casual driving, warm days, and nightly drives with Matt. Days of content, filled with a warm sense of fulfillment, whether anything was accomplished or not, and lacking in mass amounts of stress. Although I'm not stressed, and quite happy today, today is not an elton day.
Another girl seems to suddenly appear beside me, towering over and just sort of watching me -- not saying anything, but she didn't need to. I move my bag to the ground by my feet, she squeezed by and snugged herself in between the window and myself. From her bags side pocket, she whips out a magenta ipod nano, and comfortably adjusts her ear pieces. Nobody says hello to one another anymore. Hell, nobody asks if a seat is taken anymore. Although it wasn't, I hate knowing that I had to shove my bag on the grimy bus floor, wet with melted snow and dragged-in dirt. For the next hour and a half she's my only chance at light conversation, but I know this time, my ipod is all I really need (and all I'm getting).
Rainy days bring on a melancholy persona. Not necessarily sad or upsetting, just calm mixed with an almost hypnotizing deadness. These are days of Brand New (later albums, of course), Iron and Wine, Lennon Legend and Death cab for cutie.
Today is rainy, but it's not a rainy day.
There is a hint of sunshine peering through the clouds. I've been told it's going to thunder storm, but I'm hoping the sun will make its awaited appearance. It comes and goes, constantly battling the rain for a chance to make its entrance. Sometimes the rain wins, and it pours with a confident self satisfaction. In a battle between the elements, the winner celebrates quickly. Rain won, with five minutes of celebration before a vengeful sun comes back. The sun seems to be more consistent today, a more familiar sky was a blue one.
However, it's 8:11, and I can see in the distance, past the highway bridges and telephone polls, past the construction lights that swarm the two right lanes of the highway with cautionary flashes of yellow. In the distance, an ominous gradient of greys and blues forming, highlighted clouds dissipating into one thick blanket of dark, and slowly attacking the white sun-struck clouds which get in its way. Its like watching cancer. A virus attacking its host. The darkness branches outward, grabbing, choking the dusky Thursday sky. As we take the turns on highway ramps and bridges, I gain new perspective. We made a left just at the 407, and the sky is once again peaceful. The sun isn't low enough for sunset, I predict another fourty five minutes until it kisses the horizon, but what do I know. The sky is a milky mixture of blue and yellow, re-assuring me that today will end just as well as it begun.
I turn my head to look out the window forgetting there is a girl sitting next to me. I quickly turn back to face forward, almost as if I had gone over the line. I know I haven't, I'm not sure why I turned back, because now I'm positive I look suspicious.
I wait a few seconds... Ten, fifteen, tops.
I casually turned to look out the window again, and the girl looked up at me. She didn't say anything, hell, I wouldn't, but I know what she was thinking. Her eyebrow subtly lifted underneath her bluntly cut, blond bangs, and she barely lifted her head away from her ipod.
I just wanted to see the sky on the right. I could tell her that... it seems silly.
It's dark. In fact, much darker than dark sky I remember seeing a few turns ago. It shades the buildings in blankets of black, and is reluctant to break. this wave of dark has become a painted wall, perfect tonal value of the same mysterious grey; dark and almost scary. Clouds are no longer defined, and in fact, have expanded into each other, growing, taking the night sky over as a solid army of one.
The pessimistic in me is hard to bring out, and I know the light will come through. Good always prevails, and in this case, will win the final battle of the day, by showing itself before 9, before it collapses in the sky for the night, before the final day's kiss with the horizon, the sun will have it's happy ending.
Its just a matter of time. I'll be here for a while, so all I have is time. I'll watch, and await the sun. Its going to happen.
Today, is a hopeful day.
Today is a day for Our Lady Peace.
"Would I be okay if I put my seat back a little?" I asked.
She said it was fine, and so I slowly adjusted it, taking caution as to not squish her knees. I got comfortable and whipped out my ipod. Perhaps some Elton.. No, maybe not. I tend to choose my music according to the weather, which in return, adjusts my mood. Elton John, Supertramp, The Beatles and Billy Joel are for casual driving, warm days, and nightly drives with Matt. Days of content, filled with a warm sense of fulfillment, whether anything was accomplished or not, and lacking in mass amounts of stress. Although I'm not stressed, and quite happy today, today is not an elton day.
Another girl seems to suddenly appear beside me, towering over and just sort of watching me -- not saying anything, but she didn't need to. I move my bag to the ground by my feet, she squeezed by and snugged herself in between the window and myself. From her bags side pocket, she whips out a magenta ipod nano, and comfortably adjusts her ear pieces. Nobody says hello to one another anymore. Hell, nobody asks if a seat is taken anymore. Although it wasn't, I hate knowing that I had to shove my bag on the grimy bus floor, wet with melted snow and dragged-in dirt. For the next hour and a half she's my only chance at light conversation, but I know this time, my ipod is all I really need (and all I'm getting).
Rainy days bring on a melancholy persona. Not necessarily sad or upsetting, just calm mixed with an almost hypnotizing deadness. These are days of Brand New (later albums, of course), Iron and Wine, Lennon Legend and Death cab for cutie.
Today is rainy, but it's not a rainy day.
There is a hint of sunshine peering through the clouds. I've been told it's going to thunder storm, but I'm hoping the sun will make its awaited appearance. It comes and goes, constantly battling the rain for a chance to make its entrance. Sometimes the rain wins, and it pours with a confident self satisfaction. In a battle between the elements, the winner celebrates quickly. Rain won, with five minutes of celebration before a vengeful sun comes back. The sun seems to be more consistent today, a more familiar sky was a blue one.
However, it's 8:11, and I can see in the distance, past the highway bridges and telephone polls, past the construction lights that swarm the two right lanes of the highway with cautionary flashes of yellow. In the distance, an ominous gradient of greys and blues forming, highlighted clouds dissipating into one thick blanket of dark, and slowly attacking the white sun-struck clouds which get in its way. Its like watching cancer. A virus attacking its host. The darkness branches outward, grabbing, choking the dusky Thursday sky. As we take the turns on highway ramps and bridges, I gain new perspective. We made a left just at the 407, and the sky is once again peaceful. The sun isn't low enough for sunset, I predict another fourty five minutes until it kisses the horizon, but what do I know. The sky is a milky mixture of blue and yellow, re-assuring me that today will end just as well as it begun.
I turn my head to look out the window forgetting there is a girl sitting next to me. I quickly turn back to face forward, almost as if I had gone over the line. I know I haven't, I'm not sure why I turned back, because now I'm positive I look suspicious.
I wait a few seconds... Ten, fifteen, tops.
I casually turned to look out the window again, and the girl looked up at me. She didn't say anything, hell, I wouldn't, but I know what she was thinking. Her eyebrow subtly lifted underneath her bluntly cut, blond bangs, and she barely lifted her head away from her ipod.
I just wanted to see the sky on the right. I could tell her that... it seems silly.
It's dark. In fact, much darker than dark sky I remember seeing a few turns ago. It shades the buildings in blankets of black, and is reluctant to break. this wave of dark has become a painted wall, perfect tonal value of the same mysterious grey; dark and almost scary. Clouds are no longer defined, and in fact, have expanded into each other, growing, taking the night sky over as a solid army of one.
The pessimistic in me is hard to bring out, and I know the light will come through. Good always prevails, and in this case, will win the final battle of the day, by showing itself before 9, before it collapses in the sky for the night, before the final day's kiss with the horizon, the sun will have it's happy ending.
Its just a matter of time. I'll be here for a while, so all I have is time. I'll watch, and await the sun. Its going to happen.
Today, is a hopeful day.
Today is a day for Our Lady Peace.
I know what you mean, nobody talks to anybody these days on the streets, everybody just mind their "own business", and I'm one to talk, I usually fake been listening to my iPod or doing something, just so I don't have to talk to anybody besides me.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I'm shy, I kind of am at first, but usually I just hate the awkward silences when in a conversation with strangers, also most of the time people just assume and starts criticizing or complaining to you, expecting your approval at something (usually politics or religion), I just put my headphones sometimes and not even listen to music or anything, I'm just avoiding people all together.
Sometimes I just listen to their conversations to one another, that somehow would be happening to me if it weren't for those little headphones, listening to their complains, to their misjudgments, prejudices or whatever.
But sometimes I do participate in this "light conversations" with strangers, I guess I just judge by their appearances what kind of conversation they would instill. I do remember on a lonely airplane trip (just a few months ago), unlike you, I glanced over the girl next to me to the window and watch the sunset over her. We never really talked until the end of the trip, and mostly due to our mutual circumstance that the plane was a little delayed and both of us had connecting flights after that one, and we were going to miss them. I don't even remember much of the conversation after that, only that we happened to be running from one end of the terminal to the other just so we didn't miss our flights (which I don't know if she did hers).
I guess this conversations sometimes don't mean anything to us to remember, but I does make the time fly by faster, I never even got her name, which I did, or even these times an email or even Facebook. I think nowadays we are just a little afraid to make new friendships, or just afraid. I guess putting ourselves out there take too much effort sometimes, most of the times it's not worth it I guess, but sometimes it is.
Little darlin'...
ReplyDeleteIt feels like years since its been clear, but the sun always, ultimately, has its way with us.
Dap; I suppose if a stranger walked up to me and started talking about stuff I didn't care about, I'd probably respond in a similar way to that of which I am responded to when I do the same thing. So I don't really blame them. Strangers are strangers for a reason... hahaha!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I /do/ enjoy listening to other peoples conversations and making fun of how stupid they are. When you're with someone who appreciates all of your judgmental yet witty remarks, it makes it that much more entertaining. :)
hehehe I know what you mean.... unfortunately for me, I don't have a someone to do it with. All the people that get me are either online, or from another country! :/
ReplyDeleteBut... I guess that's what my imaginary friend is for hehehe ;P
I really enjoy this style of your writing Karae. Almost short-story-esk, but blogged. It's similar to 'For No One', which is a favourite of mine.
ReplyDelete